OCTOBER 2003

10-01-03 Every once in a while some one gives me a joint or two (that's Marijuana for those who may not know!) and having promised my "black dog" my "Monkey on my back" that as long as it stays tame and under control, when the gift comes I will not deny it its pleasure; I do like the old times, smoke, eat, sleep and vege totally out of my usual responsible self. It is hard to admit that as teachers and healers we too have our battles we are facing daily, it is not like we are perfect you know! But progress is what I personally advocate, Am I a better person than I was six months ago? if the answer is "yes" in all honesty (no deception), then I thank God again for guiding me along the path of total freedom in his own way. It has been a long journey, and I feel better for having taken it with all its ups and downs one day at a time. GROW AWARNESS NOT DESPAIR! COURAGE NOT FEAR!

10-02-03 If I had a dime for every emotional argument I have been a part of, every time there were harsh words exchanged for lack of wisdom or compassion, I'd sure be a millionaire! When will we ever learn, to argue a point, but not hurt the feelings or use abusive language? I guess wars are the big arguments which instead of feelings, people too get hurt. All, for lack of compassion or wisdom to work things out.

10-03-03 I said it before and I say again, there is no peace for the mind of man unless through daily contact with the creator! This spiritual connection in whatever form or manner, in whatever language, done in solitude and quiet with genuine intent to acknowledge the omnipotence of HIM, will bring calm to the mind, vibrancy to the body and peace in the heart.

10-04-03 Now then, the opposite of the above message is just as true! Without our spiritual needs met daily, we will have no way of remaining strong in face of life's daily challenges.
We are made up of three bodies, PHYSICAL, MENTAL (emotional), and SPIRITUAL. Consider each of these an entity my child, deserving their own type of attention, nutrition, and healthfulness. Feed your body with living foods which will give it life vibrant. Feed your mental body with knowledge, learn new things, endeavor to gather knowledge daily, and finally do feed the spiritual body its food, pray, meditate, sit quietly and let the wonder of the universe fill your heart. Now you are WHOLE MY CHILD, WHOLE FREE HUMAN!

10-05-03 Every day that passes without a true connection to the spirit is a day spent in the Maya with no guide! Good Lord help me not to forget this simple lesson and be lost again.

10-06-03 These lines read like my diary maybe because they are in essence the results of my daily thoughts and experiences. So if I say I have been stuck in this place of unforgiving, ungiving emotional trap; I am referring to my state of mind with my kids, my significant other, my family, the world, and so on. It happens to me it seems, about once every other month when I loose hope in all of humanity and become short tempered because nothing seems to make any sense. Yet at one level thanks to God my keeper, I know all is well that ends well, and that these days maybe hard but not hopeless.

10-07-03 Inner peace is as much a mystery as it is a false expectation of oneself. Inner calm is more acceptable of a term when it comes to living in the 21st century. I say if you can remain calm long enough to see at least three sides to every storey and walk away when none makes any sense, then you will gain inner peace thru your calmness. Peace is not a constant in our world, nor is happiness or for that matter any factor which effects our daily lives, a little sour, a little sweet, A time of joy and the hour of sorrow, all in good balance. But you my child remain hopeful as your father and learn calmness of the mind through the spirit of God's presence.

10-08-03 God; grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Today is like any other day in your sight my love, but as for this humble servant it is yet another trying day. Accepting the decision of my mate to leave, for reasons even she cannot understand herself. It is all about being on her own and independent which she has never done. We are the best of friends and there is no harsh words exchanged, but she is leaving just the same, God bless her move and help her find whatever it is she is seeking in you.

10-10-03 Think well, do well, say well, and all is well. Look for that balance especially today! Take heart....your case is next to be solved in the order of things in the universe. Excess is the cause of most our pains. Desire is good, but please don't let it rule you. I see a nice day, go get it... it is right around the next bend.

10-12-03 In most earnest attempts we all seem to be looking for the same thing, a way to be finally content and fulfilled. Able to "live in peace and have happiness and comfort" All of which seem to have been achieved by others though we do not know of many personally who have it all! But by golly we know it is said that all is fair game and available to any one. The only thing we need now is to agree on just where or to whom we should apply for this wonderful package! Well if I were to tell you that the person and the place are both within you yourself, would you believe me? Whether you do or not that is indeed where its at, not outside of you, within you!

10-13-03 Let me not go silently into the night my Love, adorn me with your fiery light and loudness of your thunder. If death is to come so soon, then grant me the death of a lover not of a hypocrite. Grant me my love a believer's death, free and calm.

10-14-03 It turns out that the Homosapiens and the Neanderthals were not linked but lived at about the same time period!(just go to PBS.org and enter Neanderthal in the search, far too many sources to include links here) But oh family of Adam! if all is from water, what the heck do you care whether you are evolving as an ape or a human? you are HERE/NOW care that this day does not pass whilst you argue over matters which will not bring wisdom and serenity! We are The family of Adam in the essence of our being, now it is up to us to make good on a promises to our father, Olla amigos!

10-15-03 Yesterday is gone think not of it tis gone, The morrow is not yet here, tis naught; Carpe diem amore! Seize this day my love and waste not another precious moment in distraught. Live my child in a forever NOW moment, Live!

10-16-03 Say what you really mean, mean what you say, be prepared to back up your calims with data and your words with actions appropriate; In other words be a man/woman of your words and make certain your deeds and word match. In doing this seemingly simple task you have added to the underlying truth of all matters. Let Truth set you free, always.

10-17-03 If we could see the "Dark matter" which permeates in every place or non-place in our known universe, we would perhaps not be surprised why just as in a bowl of soup, anything added to one corner would indeed be in the farthest corner of the bowl as well. My pain is your pain, my joy is your joy, thought our world, we share all that is here just as if we were the molecules in that bowl of soup. Care not to spread the darkness of hate and disharmony in your world! Strive instead my child to be the messenger of patience and truthfulness, let that be your added touch to the soup of life.

10-18-03 If putting 99 or 95 at the end of a price was designed by a psychologist and small prints were deemed needed by lawyers, if deception is considered a normal part of our commerce (like advertising colored sugar water as juice full of good vitamins) what does that tell us about the state of consciousness of the masses? Good God grant me patience because I see far too many wolves in sheep's clothing and am feeling helpless even in warning my own deer family of the dangers! Their eyes are closed and their ears are covered.

10-19-03 ....And they asked again "Tell us story teller, what of the treasures of the world?" and he went on to say "buy the goods of the next world with the treasures of this world, this you do by giving of the gold and goods you have here whilst they are yours, for once you leave this place your gold is someone else's treasure and no longer yours to give". Now it was well past midnight and the thought of loosing all we called our own was even more ominous! Give whilst you can and have to give, for once gone you only have regret, a useless commodity.

10-20-03 ..and it came to pass that none of Adam's children knew why they were born to this world save those who took the time to ask and had the mind to see and the heart to receive. The arrogant never did and the meek found life everlasting.

10-21-03 Who is in charge of your life? Think about this a minute; We seem to think that we know ourselves so well and have no problem identifying who is in charge of our thoughts and the actions which emanate from them. Yet and again look at all the "mistakes" we make daily and try our darndest to find some one else or something else to blame for the mishap! And who is the one saying let's stuff our faces at one hour before bed time or midnight? Knowing full well it will hurt more than just the weight of this body! Who is in charge of your decision making and who's judgment do you finally follow? Is there more than one of you in there? Are they in harmony and balance? Do they all want the best for you? And who is this "YOU" then? Which one is YOU?

10-22-03 To continue with yesterday (10-21), folks in the mental health business have almost got it right by accepting the three dimensions of human (parent, adult, child) instead of calling it multiple personality. But there is more to it than even that! We are in reality a Physical body, a Mental body, and a Spiritual body, The mind with its neurons and chemical activities produces emotions and behaviors. It has many facets just like a diamond in the making, It must receive its nutrition from the physical body's mouth which in turn must have "healthy" living foods to operate optimally. The mind also needs other nourishments such as learning to function at its best. Our spiritual body then is where we feel the connection to the rest of the universe, to our origin to our maker and designer who left his own "essence" in there somewhere, so for its optimum work it too needs proper foods and contemplative meditations or prayer. Result? a "YOU" in harmony is a healthy MIND,BODY, SOUL in balance and harmony which, is truly when you will see that the real you is the spiritual you, the mind is a vehicle of learning this and the body is the carriage carrying the cargo back home. All in the school of life on Earth the third planet from the Sun located in the Milky Way galaxy part of the Virgo cluster under construction since about 15 billion years ago.

10-23-03 chew twice and talk once. Quantumly speaking, there is no one here, really! The edge of space is not so round, Time has a way of running out everyday! I go through the gate, and death is no more! SUCHNESS!

10-24-03 When we learn to accept more of what is and expect less of what should be, we have found another effective way of living in harmony with both Yin and Yang! Dark and Light, Sadness and Happiness, Evil as is and Good as it is.

10-25-03 What is it about silence that makes us avoid it so much? "I just keep it on for the noise" she told me as she casually turned the T.V. set down. Just for the noise! We have to have noise, because otherwise the only sounds audible would be the inner voice of our own confused self within masked usually by the noise and the many masks we were on our faces. Try this for a few days, hours? Set with the self within in silence and LISTEN to your heart beat!!

10-26-03 That which occupies your time and attention in essence becomes your god. The stuff I have gathered around myself as needed materials, have now consumed my life and much of what little time I did have. If my T.V. is the centerpiece in my "Living room" what does that say about my priorities? God; Help this old humble servant become free of all the bonds of this life, favor him with a smile and set him FREE from the attachments. Let yourself BE my alpha and omega of every day if I so deserve your touch of love.

10-27-03 Until I stopped doing the deed I was asking others not to do, no one heard me. Until I walk the walk daily, no one will follow. Unless I am ready to fall and break, I should not sign up for battle. A work in progress I am, not a finished work. Each time I fall a piece of me is left on the ground as I dust myself off and get up to walk another mile in HIS WAY!

10-28-03 Where did we go astray? We must have you know! In the 21st century with all our inventions and sophisticated technologies, having mapped most of Human genome and even Mars, we have yet to learn the basics of what it is to be a "good human"!! Wars are still about the same ideals and reasons they accrued thousands of years ago, the "Haves" and the "Have nots" are still about the same in social standings and class or gender or race discriminations are considered normal for the most part whether overtly or not. So I ask again, where did we go astray? Did we ever really have it right? What the heck good is a piece of Mars or the Moon if I cannot get along with my neighbors next door or on the next land mass? What does it mean to be a "whole, mature, perfect" human? Does any body really care? Well I do! And so help me God, I will manifest just such a human in my life time and present the same to whomever it may appeal to see and learn.

10-29-03 Einstein (God rest his soul) died while working on what he called "Unified Theory" a way to explain all the workings of our universe. His dream may be closer to becoming a reality with a new zeal and attention to the notion of "String Theory". For the past 100 or so years, actually since Newton discovered Gravity, scientists have had to deal with how to marry the world of the very big (macro) and the very small (micro). To find that holy grail of unification of all that there is and how and why things are the way they are. The amazing thing is this new String Theory (which is not so new) uses extremely small units of energy (strings, smaller than subatomic particles!) to bind the entire universe from small to large into one big bowl of soup! Gee, it seems I have been right on the money the whole time! By saying that we are indeed connected with energies we create through our thoughts, actions, and deeds. Make some good ripples my child in this big bowl of soup.

10-30-03 Sharing a life or extended amount of time, sharing a mutual something or another, all require that both sides agree upon parameters which are subject to progressive enhancement through change of individuals or circumstances. In fact accepting that change is indeed the only constant in any given situation, the only other required item is STICK TO IT-NESS. A commitment to seek harmony both within oneself and for the situation at hand. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health. Because Not one of us can ever claim that illusive perfection in thoughts, deeds, or words which emanate from us. Expectations are the worst enemy of any workable sharing situation, because once not met, expectations turn into, Resentment, Anger, Anxiety, and misery. Grass is never greener on the other side, and leaving one tough situation usually means having to start all over with another one from scratch! It is like asking for a new head from God, when indeed the head we have is quite sufficient, we just have never done the work to make it near perfect!
10-31-03 Keep it simple stupid and wait on the the Lord. Though we have all the scientific equations to explain all of life, we have not figured how to give the formula the gift of life.

9-01-03 I had two wonderful and long conversations today, all about God and the power of our energies created through our thoughts, actions, and words! My daughter and I came to a good feeling about how the whole of life under this firmament, is like a big bowl of soup, every molecule connected to the other through the liquid and solid. Now then my child, hear me once more, DO WELL, SAY WELL, THINK WELL, FOR IN REALITY MY LOVE THIS IS HOW THE WORLD IS CREATED DAILY.

9-03-03 One of the hardest things for me to quit doing is making fun of someone's peculiar or weird ways or body parts (in jest of course). But, just the same even in jest we hurt others feelings as we ourselves think we are so clever or funny. Care my child not to offend a person by ridiculing what to them is a sensitive matter.

9-04-03 The four elements of life that the ancient cultures believed in and honored as sacred, turn out today to be scientifically true. We are and all that life has is made up of these four elements, AIR, WATER, EARTH, AND FIRE. Multiples of gases under the heat of the sun combine with elements from the Earth with water to create and sustain life. In a most synergistic way that if one element is missing or not of the best quality the resulting life matter too will not be whole or of good quality. So it stands to reason that the more we violate these elements and degrade their quality, our own life is indeed being degraded. We live within a living sphere and have not yet learned to respect the life it has.

9-05-03 Let's keep going with the thought we had yesterday, shall we? I think most any intelligent human would want to know how to obtain and maintain a better quality of life, fewer diseases or stresses and, a chance to grow old gracefully. If we collectively saw all the right moves to make and timely action to take in order not to create problems, I would not be writing these columns. So the answer truly lies first in the hands of the leaders of every society on the planet. They must be first and foremost educated enough or wise enough (ancient traditions) to see the obviousness of life emanating from the very matters in and around which we exist. There can be no good life for a human if the molecules from which he is making bones and muscles are corrupt and contaminated. The Bear take the Salmon they catch to the forest floor, leave the carcass which turns into Nitrogen which feeds the forests in which the bears and the trees live and breathe. Get It? The oceans just fertilized the forests while feeding the bears! How sad we have leaders who are more concerned about the greed in their minds than the life within their bodies. Mother Earth is truly now becoming a more scientifically correct term to use in place of Echo systems!

9-06-03 God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference. I pray this God, to keep from the negativities and the ignorance of the bigots all around me, so that I might still look upon them as humans! So that I may still accept my neighbors right to hang his large flag and show his ignorant patriotic colors without looking around to see how this flag now represents a government over which he has no control and who has abandoned the people at home and created animosity internationally by playing the big numero uno without any positive results either here at home or in foreign lands. God help us all!!

9-07-03 I try every day, I truly do try very hard to look at the good things and positive side of life, to find good in every situation and when I fail to do so I blame myself for not being at peace within. Because if the actions of another moves me to a negative reaction in any way at all, whether producing a negative thought, a negative action or words, then I have no more faith in the power of positive serenity within. Usually though, thanks to God my ever present master and guide, I end up learning about yet another joyous wonderful side of God's presence within the walls of my foolish mind.

9-08-03 What prayer, meditation, chanting, or any kind of mind focusing activity practiced regularly does in fact, is create an environment in which better decisions can be made and foolish hasty reactionary decisions will not. A focused mind in tune with the spirit in a healthy body WILL result in a more serene life style. A healthy echo system if you will, of mind, body and spirit. Now we can scientifically prove this but most still fall on deaf ears!

9-09-03 "God you granted me kingship, you taught me the interpretation of dreams, you are the initiator of the heavens and the Earth, you are my Lord and Master in this life and in the hereafter, grant me a believer's death and count me amongst the righteous". This was Joseph's prayer; I too beg you God to grant me a good death as you have done so with my life.

9-10-03 Every day; Life gives us another way of looking at who we are and why we do the things we do. The quest of any intelligent individual must then be to remain aware of, detached enough from the emotional and irrational thought processes, long enough to say the lesson being offered by the situation at hand. It may take one hour it may take a day or two, but remember my child; it is never totally the other party's fault that you are upset or "feeling" sad and blah blah blah blah, yakedi shmakadie blah! Yes people will do stupid things to upset you, yes there will be days when you just as soon go hide in the Siberian desert, but there is always, always a lesson to be learned about who you are and what you are doing here!

9-11-03 The end is nearer than most of us realize or care to think about. Even for this generation the idea of having maybe couple of two or three hundred years left is unfathomable. I recently had a clear vision of the Great Spirit coming to me and saying "I will be taking your life tomorrow, are you ready?" I about had a shit! excuse the French, but I mean the feeling was as real as it raining outside and by just putting my hands out I can get wet sort of thing. "Are you ready to detach tomorrow from all your stuff? Emotional stuff or material stuff or even your family and other stuff like that? All of which are stuff of life, if you were to be told tomorrow is THE Day for you to leave it all behind and say goodbye, just how many "unfinished" stuff would you have which you would take the attachment to with you to the other side? Where you could neither enjoy them nor resolve the problems related to. That is how close the END is my child, awaken!

9-12-03 Charity begins at home. If you have a family member or a relative, in need of assistance, a neighbor in need of financial help or a friend, then the money you have earmarked for charity, your tithe to a church, your time you wish to give in volunteer help, aught to first be considered for these people, then if any is left or if there are none of these folks in your life in need, can you give to your church. Let God guide you if you are truly giving to be effective where the help is really needed.

9-13-03 Time passes without a care this day too shall end with its joys and sorrows. But God bless the child who's got his own! Just babbling here about how we all seem so stuck in the events of each day as if it was the end to all ends, how do we get so overwhelmed that we forget just last month about this time; that other crisis which nearly devastated us, is GONE! And today's stuff is no different, in fact by comparison it aught to be easier to handle. Yes my child, this too shall come to pass into the abyss of MU!

9-14-03 I said it once before and I say it again, these lines will be my last legacy of a father's attempts to communicate with his children. As it stands now these lines are more for my own sake of sanity and memory than for the kids to read, because they are not taking the time to read their father's thoughts or know of his feelings. Yes we have come to the age where being a good child is just being out of the parents' ways (I don't ever remember asking for this) being on your own and therefore oblivious to the father's lack of presence. Oh children! you too will feel these things as I do now. But just in the rare case that you may be reading these lines, know this my child, it takes more than a phone call here and there to know your father.

9-15-03 If by any chance I have sounded as a Mr. "know it all" I want to humbly say for the record that the one thing I do know for certain is that I know nothing! What I have knowledge of is only enough for a semi quantum way of life in order to pass on the teachings I myself have received. Being a teacher by ancestral rights and through my own works, does require me to have some answers, but knowing is all together a different thing. And being or living the knowledge is itself the fruit. Just the same though, a good discourse on any subject requires studies, let me then pray God that you help keep this man on the path of gathering knowledge.

9-16-03 This thing about when God closes one door he opens another is perhaps one of the most basic wonders of calming the stressed mind that I have ever used in helping some young ones who looked at loosing a job for instance as so tragic an event that even suicide was considered in one particular case! The Idea again however, is to TRUST GOD with such strength where we enable the baffled mind to see the light at the end of the tunnel as it were, and not just the length of the darkness of the tunnel in front of us. And that kind of faith my child is only possible through daily prayer or any form of contact with our Father in Heaven who truly knows and cares! The birds never worry about their sustenance, why do we?

9-17-03 We all have things we want to accomplish; Goals we have set, tasks that need getting done, and relations that need mending. Through it all we grow and mature in the direction of our true intent. But it is the act of remaining consistent and persevering that will determine the degree of our growth. So, even though we say so much about what we want to do and be, unless we follow through with our intentions, honorable as they may be, without actions they become mere empty words, and no growth takes place.

9-18-03 So the big news is still the war and the cost to the U.S. taxpayer and lives of the young soldiers who not unlike the Vietnam era boys have no clue what the heck they are doing way out in the middle of the desert being killed by people they don't know and having their commander in chief tell them that they are bringing democracy to a savage people! IGNORANT FOOLS BEING LED BY SLEEPY HOLLOWS IN A POOL OF GREED!

9-19-03 If necessity was the mother is inventions; It is Greed, Arrogance, and heedless consumptions which put those necessary inventions to wrong use. And it is Ignorance which will be the downfall of all the good inventions. Genetically engineered crops (GEC's) are one very evident example. A fool is given a knife to cut the bread and he turns and cuts the leg off of the table, which falls on his own big foot, now he cannot go to the bakery!

9-20-03 Let me encourage you my child yet again, daily contact with THE CREATOR in solitude and meditative fashion, is the only sure way to gain serenity within and be able to better deal with the trials of the world. Prayer if you will is the way of the wise; as for the world, it has never been faithful to anyone or any thing. Learn then my child to be in the world but do not become a part of it. Lay your treasured attachments to the one after.

9-21-03 For every human soul there is an unseen parallel soul who's job is to entice the human soul to not do things which will get him closer to God, and to busy himself with affairs which will take him away from that task. You know the one I am talking about, it pokes at you all the time it seems while your angel side is saying "no no no, this is not good!" and who does your MIND usually follow? Then you wake up the next day and feel like crap saying to yourself, the devil made me do it! I wish I had not eaten so much, or drank all that booze, or did that awful act. These little demons have their jobs to do and they do it well, to seduce and turn humans away from God and any sense of duty to Him. I will always remember to see it as it is and not blame my feeble mind for going astray, but rather pick up and keep my focus on God again, in the end with God I will always win the battles with my demons. And they come around less and less as I grow stronger in God.

9-22-03 Let us keep going with the thoughts of yesterday ok? Most of us think that we have to perform prayer for God's sake, as if to say that he needs or demands it for himself. It is not until recent years in our world that with new sciences we can appreciate the value of any mind calming/centering activity on a regular basis. And the dude! This God of Abraham and Moses and Jesus, has been saying to us since day one, "look kids, whatever good you do, you do for yourself, and whatever you do against my counsel you do to your own detriment" Now how much clearer can you get! Meditation and prayer bring the brain to Alpha wave producing level which for us geeks in the sciences means a relaxed mind and a mind more productive and able to make better judgments. Amen!

9-23-03 "In God we trust" is a good motto to live by, but when our government is in bed with the corporate greed, our daughters wear clothing we used to associate with prostitution, churches allow sodomy, and our kids are told they cannot pray in school, I believe it is time we remove that statement and quit living a farce and dishonoring God!

9-24-03 There was a time when the West and the East were not so far apart in basic human dignity and acceptance of a mutual set of values for decency. Then it all went to hell and both the West and the East lost their humanity in a sea of technology. Result? well the jury is still out on this one! God help us all remember who we were once as a family of Man.

9-25-03 It is in the nature of the plants to begin their cold weather activities and stop growth by the end of summer. It is in the nature of an scorpion to sting a moving object next to him or touching his body, It is in the nature of the sea to rise up and bring hurricanes ashore, It is in the nature of rivers to flow and overflow when there is excess water. It is incumbent upon humans to learn, to understand how best to live with the nature of things, as many thousands of years have proven. So it is foolish to build in the path of the hurricanes and floods!

9-26-03 It is difficult for sure to stay optimistic about anything when your partner in life, or your neighborhood, or your government, or family member is of a negatively charged state of being. Indeed it is at times impossible when one is surrounded by negatively charged energies, but just the same a true believer in the power of God to heal, will not surcome. The old saying goes "you can't keep a good man down long". Yes sir, you cannot keep a believing human down long.

9-28-03 If we just stopped making such mountains out of the mole heals of our daily mostly average lives, we we have eliminated at least half the stress on our minds and bodies.

9-29-03 We do whatever it is we do to pass our time and for some the task must be expanded to fill the time span, for others the time needs to be expanded just to make the tasks fit the slot. If you find yourself amongst the first group, you are either done living or have no life. You want something done and done right; give it to a busy man. If your workers are standing around looking for things to do, you have too many!

9-30-03 Now we get ready for Halloween! Amazingly enough this is an annual tradition in the East as well as the Western world. It was initially a harvest festival in villages as was the thanksgiving which was giving thanks for the year of farming goods. If I have anything to say about most of our traditions it would be that we take them far too seriously! that's all.

AUGUST 2003

8-01-03 Had a wonderful time with one of my daughters went up a small hiltop and sat for a few hours under city noises of planes passing and lights aglitter! We talked about God and life on Earth, about energies we produce and realities we create. We sent good viberations to ourselves twenty years from now and talked too about old age. God grant this old man the wisdom to act upon the teachings of olden days. Know my child that today is a result of your actions of yesterday, and tomorrow is but a thought in your mind's eye tonight. Make it what you will, and keep it free of Fears!

8-2-03 So life gives lemons and oranges, bananas and peaches, fruits of all kind, intermitanatly is seems; it has done so for millions of years based on parameters set by its designer from the first burst of the first sub particle. I then have the choice of learning about all manners of fruit and their particular uses or cry and moan about not having enough oranges for my breakfast juice! Life could care less about "my desires"! It is dutiful to its design and the laws of its nature.

8-03-03 It is a sad day when sisters and brothers, mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, no longer wish to have anything to do with each other. It is indeed the end of our humanity when even in the family so bonded and tied by the blood of generations and all the common needs and history, cannot find a way to say "we may differ on issues of how to raise our kids or what religion to follow, but let us no break up the family bonds" what is next? Yes my child you guessed it, THE FAMILY OF ADAM is next, as it was told long ago, the human race will come to be so disarrayed that even the ties of common decency and family will not hold. We are indeed so predictable and well on our way to an all out destruction and annihilation. Se La Vi my love.

8-04-03 What the human race seems to forget a lot is the cumulative history of its species. There is only rubbles and empty halls left of the vast empires of the past, no glory left, no Roman fighting the Persians, just empty memories of how powerful they once were. Fast forward to the Big Brother today, the Macho U.S. of A. no where near as big or powerful as those gone by empires, but the history is repeating itself yet again; When will we ever learn? No empire founded on forceful means ever lasted in time. NONE! And only the innocent get the short end of this deal every time.

8-05-03 Italians have a saying which goes something like this "When the game is over, the king and the pawn lie in the same box" When it is all said and done in the real world too, all lay the same in the box that is our graves.

8-06-03 In the old world culture (when things were simpler) it was widely an accepted fact that without some daily connection to the source of life (i.e. God) one would not have inner peace. This inner peace then was perceived and accepted again to have most detrimental effects on the outer peace with all others from animals to the Earth and people. So simple!

8-07-03 Let it not be a day gone into the abyss of all that is no more, without the awakened soul giving time to The Creator in needful prayer. Let the heart of man be calmed and his essence rejuvenated by the touch of The Father and His Love be poured upon the man with need. Indeed, Indeed!

8-08-03 Once all the population of the world's known societies had gods and idols. One man inspired by the holy spirit stood up to the world and proclaimed that there is only one God, his name; Abraham(Ebraaheem). Even to his own father he said "I will not worship your statues, now you may come to believe in the one God or burn me at the stakes" bless Abraham!

8-10-03 "Fate shuffles the cards and we play" must choose game carefully, must choose game carefully! But I will be bold and fearless as the cards are dealt moment to moment, hour by hour, day to day, week to months and years. I have FAITH in the fairness of the dealer not the cards!

8-12-03 I have been fighting a virus on my computer for the past two days, a malicious code(Blaster) which disabled my internet connection, at every attempt to clean this mess I kept thinking of what would cause a mind to go to the dark side and cause others suffering through actions from which they themselves would not profit at all? Such wonderful brains doing harmful acts just for kicks! Well; we live with the bad and the good as parts of a whole. The balance is kept in every thing by the forces of the universe.

8-13-03 Love is so abused it is thinking of relocating! God said let there be Love and compassion amongst all living things, He must have been drunk!

8-14-03 How simple a task is it to be the first to say "Hello"? Yet look my child at all the times you could have been the one to peacefully greet the ones near you who at times were most dear to you as well! Cool is being humble enough to initiate salutations with peaceful words to spread the peaceful ways to stop the warful ways to not be strangers from the family!

8-15-03 On a hot afternoon yesterday, almost all of the NE quarter of the U.S. had a total black out, nearly half still do not have power today, NY city and all its hustle and bustle came to a dead stop, subways, trains, elevators, and city lights, amazing how dependant we are on this Electricity! Toronto too was affected the same way. For the most part the Electrical Grid which all of NE United States and SE Canada operate on (the Niagara Grid) is an old one which had a similar problem in 1977, did we learn then? Guess not!

8-16-03 So we go looking for Love in all the wrong places, and while there we also look for serenity and harmony (all of which are facets of true love) and we have come back empty handed every single time. Money, fame, pleasures of this world, and power are not where Love is kept or nourished, when we understand this as a whole, humanity just might have a shot at world peace. Alas, as my teacher would say, I don't see it happening soon.

8-17-03 Just how far can one go before it is the point from which there is not return? Is there such a point in our lives indeed? Well; One might say a spilled jar of milk is one point with no return! A murder committed is a point from which there is no return! But, how about words and other actions? I suppose if there are others involve, then it depends on them as well, how forgiving and gracious are they in helping us return from whence we fell short of their grace and love or friendship? Now imagine this, with God there is no such a point, if humans but understood the "repent and sin no more" phrase. But just how many of us are truly capable of "sinning no more!"? Still I say my child it is in the trial and tribulations that human and God become one through the intent of the human and grace of God.

8-18-03 Once upon a time there was another empire with grand ideas of omni potency whose ruins are a perfect sign of how no power on Earth is permanent, no king or kingdom shall stand to the forces of time and fate! Alexander the great requested to be buried with his hands out of the coffin palms up, to show the next generations that he too left empty handed.

8-19-03 Are we nearing the end of human existence, Or this generations' time on Earth? We know there were many others before us, cities, big palaces, species of varied looks and feel, yet there is no sign of them having any thing to do with where we are today! I have read in the holy books that if he so chose, God could easily replace this generation of humans with another or replace the entire life form upon this planet with another different one entirely, that is no big task for one who created all from nothing. How silly it seems knowing these facts and still going on about the greedy, power hungry, heedless ways that we are! Indeed for most the awakening will not come, until it is too late! The end is coming that is a certainty, but how many are ready to meet their end? What if it was next Saturday at noon?

8-20-03 Now hear this! With God there is no fear, no paranoia, no lasting sorrow or depression. Hear me child, for all these negative "feelings" arise where there is no serenity within, and that can ONLY be had through God.

8-21-03 From the veiled, covered women in the Muslim world to the nearly naked women in the west, one extreme to another while both insist that their particular way is "right". What is it about moderation that seems to escape humans? I bet God is having a heck of time being patient with us kids!

8-22-03 Sitting in the shade saying ahhh how beautiful does not a Gardner make! Nor announcing how tasteful the jam was after the harvest.

8-23-03 Here is an excellent quote, "..And for humans there is no gains except that for which they have toiled for and endured" put this in your pipes and smoke it kids! Nothing worth while is ever easy to obtain.

8-24-03 For those of us who thought going to this stupid "Occupation" business and "nation building" was totally against the true American ways, today is a specially sad day! Not only are our combat troops at harms way daily, but now even the peace keeping U.N. folks cannot do their job and are being bombed because the desperate elements in Iraq only see foreigners invading their homes and culture without just cause. Mr. Bush, bring down this wall of arrogance and greed, You are the creator of the terrorists!

8-25-03 In Quantum physics the very act of measuring something will cause misreading of its qualities. I tell you my deer ones; it is all quantum relations in regards to measurements. Judge not lest you be judged, is a quantum formula which says, the energy you create by putting measurements on others will be used to measure your own actions, as a matter of law of the universe whether you understand it or not, IT IS SO!

8-26-03 We have a saying in the Eastern part of the world that denotes a person having fallen into the pot of the Oatmeal for his eagerness to taste the stuff or satisfy his hunger in a hurry or greedily! In our daily activities we do come across such a good deal (or so we think) that we fall ass backwards into all kinds of trouble trying to get it all and make sure we do not lose out on any goodies. In short don't let greed determine your needs.

8-27-03 How best to say "I love you" to anyone is not an easy subject to put into words. But hear this from me my child, when you are the best human that you can be, serene and peaceful, taking time to gather knowledge and wisdom of the sages, you have already said "I LOVE YOU!" to all the people in your life.

8-28-03 Many times a day I stand before God asking to be a better servant, many times a day I hear the same answer coming back softly spoken "master your desires son and you have served us well". Or "come before your God with need and you shall leave satisfied". Behold! I am loved.
8-29-03 What is the combined effect of six billion humans on the living systems of the planet Earth? asks Dr. David Suzuki of Canada, an environmental scientist (The Scared Balance book and documentary). If we are made up of the very elements from this Earth, and we are indeed by all accounts agreed upon depleting and polluting these elements; What is then to become of the next generation of humans who will find less resources and clean air or water to have and sustain their lives? Are we leaving the planet in worse shape than we found it, for our children's children? and if so, how much more can indeed be taken from the very makeup of the planet before it is no longer capable of sustaining all the lives of all the humans? Does anyone have a plan to stop the mad consuming ways of us now generation? Does any body care? Not with this Bush man in this White House! Not with the Far East's appetite just warming up to the Western standards! Not with the greed of this corporate based world economy! Alas! I see no hope! Unless as a whole, the human race is awakened and willing to change and accept responsibility. Unless the political face of the world changes to one of caring individuals who will put the common good of all above the bottom line!

8-30-03 Now hear this! If your own personal intentions are honorable, and you have constant good will in your heart towards all sentient beings (like as in you don't just crush an ant without a second thought), then you have nothing to worry about when it comes to the state of mankind or womankind on this planet. Whether the world ends tomorrow or 100 years from now, you will have a good death and rebirth! Oh yes, you will take whatever you have here with you when you leave, its just too bad it is not your T.V.!!

8-31-03 All is well that ends well! and this too my child the story of another year in conflicts and human struggle will be written in The Book of Life! Let your heart be gladdened in the anticipation of God's promised paradise where there is only peace, unity and wellness for all.

JULY 2003

7-01-03 ....And another month is passed into the abyss of time/space. Or is it? Can we have the time back once it is passed? How often can we say I'll do such and such when I have a little more free time? And if the such and such we wanted to do is a seasonal thing, like taking the time to spend TIME with the kids by the lake? What of the remorse? Dum vivimus, vivamus! While we live, let us live!

7-02-03 A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving. Albert Einstein

7-3-03 It is difficult to keep reminding my self that my notion of One Earth One People, is attainable in the face of the ignorance which keeps the Us vs. Them mentality so active and overwhelming. But I do, I always have Hope!

7-4-03 Some friends kept insisting that I recognize their ideals of National pride specially on this Independence day, I in turn insisted that if there is pride to be had in any thing of this world, let it be directed to our mutual humanity. "You wanna be proud of something, try having some pride in our human race as a whole and look for ways to unite the population of this small globe" cutting up this little piece of dirt in the sky into yet smaller pieces and then attaching PRIDE to it is far too ignorant a thing for my universal child within.

7-05-03 Truth must be told at times with the cost of human emotions taken into consideration. One simple "white" lie which brings no harm, is better than the "truth" which brings about disharmony and havoc with no positive end.

7-06-03 On a constructive note, take this shaman's word on this, if you do anything aerobic for at list 30 minutes every day, (aerobic, as in create sweat and increase heart rate, like brisk walks or diging holes) and eat in moderation (as in don't stuff your belly to your neck line! or eat when not hungry) you'll have no reason to be sick or overweight. (Period).

7-07-03 There are a lot of hype about getting to "know" God. As silly as this notion is many prescribe to it as if God indeed was a knowable object or personality. How can we as messed up as we are in realizing what is good for our own humanity, stuck in silly wars and bitter argument, (all of which stems from not knowing ourselves or what makes us do what we do) come to know the creator of it all? God can only be experienced never known!

7-08-03 Except through some manner of daily meditative time spent in solitude (prayer, chanting, calm focus of the mind, relaxation factors); The mind will not be of much use for our common well being. A stressed mind is a stressed immune system is a sick body is a lost spirit is not a WHOLE HUMAN

7-09-03 He who does not know and is aware of his ignorance will, somehow find his way home. He who does not know and is not aware of his ignorance he; will die even unto the next world in that poly ignorance. But about the one who does not know and thinks he does, him; we feed to the wolves and use as fill matter in the abyss of the pool of ignorance.

7-10-03 So many beautiful, wonderful souls get stuck in bodies which cannot carry the greatness, the mind in that body gets boggled down with questions about chicken and egg, the spirit suffers in the process of no daily contacts with HOME! The spirit knows its maker; it wishes to go home and feels entrapped on this Earth inside the bodies with brains out of touch with harmonious living and being at peace with the rest of the universe! Ah! My love, let go of the glitter of this gold and see the treasure within.

7-11-03 The illusion of reality has become so real that even the best of the aware minds are finding themselves trapped in the maze that is "entertainment". Our children and so called adults sit by the tube day after day hour after hour, either playing make-believe games of shoot'm up bang bang games or in a vegetated state having sound bytes do the laughter for them as they perceive to have been entertained. Now consider this, when even the very bodies our spirit dwells in is itself a mirage, how much more so is a fake reality made out of a mirage? It is a box of puzzles wrapped in the maze of matter and energy and shaded with the myth of God!

7-12-03 Sit still a while my child, watch the breath of life enter and exit your body without your will, watch life's movement through your nostrils, feel that which gives you life in Oxygen and takes it out of you in Carbon, feel the force which is at work and let the hands of God touch your face!

7-13-03 The method of observing life's force enter and exit the body through the breath is one of the most ancient types of meditation. Because the practitioner does not have to "do" anything except sit still and focus all the attention he can muster upon this automatic action, the more one does this the more it become clear that we do not have to "do" meditation, It does us! And Voila! There is peace within, just like that. DO IT DAILY!

7-14-03 So bless everything as you go my child, bless the pain and the gain. Bless the life force which keeps you alive and tests your limits, bless your enemies if you can and cherish your friends. All this do daily, so that you do not forget the source of your own bliss is "you blessing others".

7-15-03 Freedom is one of the most misunderstood, mistranslated, and mismatched of all words in the human languages. We equate freedom with doing whatever we feel like doing without realizing the basic fact that no one ever really does exactly as they please, that true freedom cannot and does not exist in this dual earthen hemisphere. Bound by laws of nature and man, no one is ever truly free on this earth, NOT A ONE! until he/she becomes free of the urges and wants within the prison that is our physical body. Even this perceived freedom requires responsibility of action.

7-16-03 We strive for harmony and understanding, yet forget that in our efforts and in the passion of our desire for peace we may be creating tension because of our own lack of calm or dignified manners of presentations. The old word mellow or cool applies here, but who amongst us is really COOL?

7-17-03 As my days grow into nights, dear God let me not forget that the most important task or duty of mine is to you and for your sake. If I claim to be the servant of such awesome Creator; Then let me have the passion too my Lord to act upon the servitude and not falter from the path.

7-18-03 We love and hate, like and dislike, enjoy and abhor almost intermittently like the Monsoons of Arizona. All is calm and sunshiny when out of nowhere thunderstorms come and winds blow and before you know it there is rain! Do we really have as much a handle on our emotional behavior as we like to think we do? Of course not! Why else would we have all this broken homes and abandoned children who have no clue about why things are as they are in their lives? What we have here really is a failure to communicate friends! Stuff builds up; solutions are not found and BOOM!! it is not a pretty picture even in international relationships between countries, heck it is all human relations gone sour! over MU!

7-19-03 It may not be such a bad idea for all of us to go on regular speech fasts, it is a tradition in Islam not observed by the Muslims much any more. I seem to recall having a Buddhist monk tell me about such a tradition in their way of life as well. We know how good a food fast is for the body at least once a month for a few days, I submit that it is an even a better thing for the mind if we went about our lives in silence couple of days a month. Perhaps hang a sign or scratch pad around our necks to write what we have to say. Talk about teaching the old ego a humble lesson! Hang this baby!

7-20-03 The word (MU) I mentioned a couple of days back deserves explanation. It is a Chinese word which loosely translated means (no-thing). Not nothing mind you, but NO-THING, because even nothingness is a thing which we have a concept of, God resides in the NO-THING zone! if we can perceive it then IT is not God, as God does not fit in any perception.

7-21-03 Every time I sit to think of words to put my feelings and thoughts in I get side tracked by the very idea of making it sound understandable, short, and to the point. By the time I do all that, the original wonder of that thought is all but gone out of my head. "Meditate son" he said, "Meditate more".

7-22-03 For all the amazing stuff God has put on this space ship Earth, you'd think as the "intelligent" species we'd stop the bickering about who has salvation or heaven, and who is doomed to hell, and just GET ALONG! Oh no! We are too smart for that simple task! Some civilized crap we have created!!

7-23-03 Reading the Bhagavad-Gita (as it is) I was taught the lesson once again about the importance of having our carnal self under some sort of supervision as it were. It is like a little spoiled child who if the parent does not say no to goes on to demanding (not even asking) what it wants with no regards to what it might do to the family. Who is the disciplinarian in your family? How often do you tell yourself "NO" when you desire to use stuff your mind knows is not good for you? Or desiring objects way out of your budget just because you want it? Who runs the ship in your world?

7-24-03 Time has a funny way of doing either nothing or a whole mess of things all based on our awareness of how every thing is so interconnected. One thing is for certain though, it waits for no one, time does dutifully pass as it was ordered to do by its maker. Like a river taking all with it to the ocean.

7-25-03 We fill the silence with our own insecurities, then proceed to act on that illusive manufactured warped reality. Case in point is the mess the W.Bush administration has made with regards to Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, we wreaked havoc on a whole nation, destroyed their country just to get ONE MAN out of power! We made all that fear up, not we the people, but the politicians we allowed to do the deed, feeding on our fears. And all the while we believe to be doing good for the people of Iraq bombing their homes so we can offer them Democracy!!

7-26-03 A very prominent senator on the PBS' Now program last night made a very profound statement which deserves repeating, "you cannot bring democracy to a people with 150,000 troops destroying their towns and evading their privacy". We are in for a lesson of the real reasons behind this invasion (Let us not call it a war, there was no WAR!) and what we pay for thinking that we are doing what these people need!

7-27-03 As we grow older and hopefully wiser! We need to realize and understand that though patience is such a bitter pill, the fruit is most sweet and rewarding. All in good time, and I learn to wait on God to move me and my energies as he sees fit. Patiently my child, patiently.

7-28-03 There has been a new generation of some old thing cropping up again that routine is not so good and spontaneity is the sign of vitality! Well I say both are one and the same thing, in routines we find consistency and create harmony and purpose, out of such an environment will spring much spontaneous actions (though in reality most actions are only reactions). So find yourself a routine of good habits my child and find purpose so you may learn how to ACT spontaneously and not react in foolishness.

7-29-03 Every morning I sit and watch all sorts of critters and birds visit my garden, bees come and get the nectar of the Mint and Catnip plants, ants carry bits of my compost to their homes, and all the while teach me over and over how simple it all is. Living life with no expectations!

7-30-03 This is the first log away from my own computer, at a public library. I somehow find it difficult to say anything; it is such a brightly lit area with a whole lotta people talking and not as quiet as you would think of a library. So I do the next best thing, God bless this wonderful place and let me be grateful for the chance to check my mail and say grace! Amen!

7-31-03 What happens to our directions one mile north of the North Pole? Is God a merciful and patient God or a revengeful, jealous, and punishing daily kind? Was there indeed a pair of every living thing on Noah's ark? I say onto you my children, all these matter not to living a life which is filled with bliss and has blissful effects on all who come in contact with it. Lead you life and daily activities as if the fruit of every action was to come back and resonate within the walls of your home, as if every word you utter is heard by the whole of the universe, and every thought is on display on every marquee, nay the sky itself for all to read and see! And care not whether the egg was first or the chicken, enjoy the meal instead. Bless God.

JUNE 2003

6-02-03 For all our technological advances, we have yet to be smart enough as a race or species to see that our very survival is at stake now for having forgotten how to be HUMANS IN NATURE.

6-03-03 "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955). Well he was right about not being sure about the infinity of the universe, the expansion will only go on for a very determined length of time, at which time our own human ways of stupidity will have come to an abrupt end and clarity.

6-05-03 A recent study aired on PBS's "Scientific American,6-04-03" revealed beyond doubt (using gadgets and gizmos like MRI and blind studies at major Universities) that stress indeed does make us sick, anger, intolerance, hatred and such are the cause of many heart failours in the society today, and with it the studies also found that meditation or as they used the new term "relaxation factors" do help reduce the effects of stressful acts/events on the heart and the ciculatory paths. I say congratulations are in order for the medical teams to prove the many thousand year old methods of the old masters for a better life!

6-06-03 Working on computers has taught me yet again the value of patience and endurance. There will always be a solution if we persist and not give up. Some times the solution is harder to find and requires much more delegence, but in the end having the technician wins the day by hook or by crook. My life seems to have been a series of lessons in enduring!

6-07-03 A house is where we reside, home is where we live, the difference is that any brick and mortar or dwelling can be a house, but homes are made over a long time of caring, giving, compromises, and paying attention to those little things like cleanliness and warmth of the hearts therein.

6-08-03 Let the actions of each day be as honest and straight forward as the sun rays that shine on you. let this become the path to higher conciousness!

6-09-03 You complain too much, far too much! stop the bickering and look at the ones who are so much more in misfortune, misery, and distress, look again and see what is it that you really "NEED" and do not have. Now look at the shoes on your feet and always remember there is some one with no legs still having to face life and earn a living, love, and have kids.

6-10-03 The lessons of life are woven into the daily events in our lives. The conciouse one amongst us is always looking for those lessons of personal growth in every encounter. Time is always passing and waits for no one. We seem to think that we have a lot of time on our hands to figure where we're going and what we do to pass the time this presious comodity. OOOPS! There goes another day in which I am still not whole! But the lessons, they keep coming.

6-12-03 May there always be work for your hands to do;> May your purse always hold a coin or two;> May the sun always shine on your windowpane;> May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;> May the hand of a friend always be near you;> May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. "Irish Prayer".

6-13-03 Reflect upon a time when doom and gloom was all you had, ponder a bit more on how things seemed so hopeless and the way out, the light at the end of that dark tunel seemed so out of reach; Now think again at how it all is so far away, like the big fight with your mate way back when which you nearly separated over and now have to think real hard to even remember what it was all about! think yet again my love; ALL THINGS IN TIME WILL COME TO PASS AND BE FOREVER GONE!

6-14-03 Let me remind us all again lest we forget that which we spend most of our energy on will dominate our lives and reverberate back again and again. Be careful of what you fixate your attention on, because that will be your reality.

6-15-03 Let not a time of anxiety or sadness and anger go by without busying yourself with physical exertions, as this will purge the body of the poisons which the emotions have put in the blood. Go rake the yard, move some dirt around or clean your attic. But whatever you do, do not just sit and prune in the poisons of your own making. Go burn them in physical actions.
6-16-03 We learn more by doing than any other means, a child learns the language by repetitious, an adult can learn of the spirit by doing spiritual practices, not by merely attending church or reading the good books.

6-17-03 There is always a lesson to learn from every event in our lives, from the mundane to the extraordinary, in pain and in gain. The wise person looks then to all events with an eager learning eye rather than fret and fuss.

6-19-03 We like to think that we are in control of most every aspect of our lives, "I know my self" is a common phrase, and yet, these could not be any further from the truth. We do not even have control over our bowel movements and or any of the other auto-responses we have built into our bodies and minds, who or what really does control our actions? In truth we seldom act a conscious act, we are most always reacting to our environment.

6-20-03 Excellance only reveals itself in repeated times of trial and error. The mediocre gives up and complain bitterly in hardship, the one seeking excellence will continue in total acceptance and stick to it-ness.

6-22-03 No amount of complaining ever got anything accomplished. Roll up your sleeves my child and do whatever needs to be done and which is within your capabilities without concern for who gets the credit. Now you are on your way to becoming a mature in universal wisdom.

6-23-03 It is much easier to give up and not try at anything that we know deep down inside to be good and worth while. Like an old relationship, an on friend who has sorely disappointed us, the sweetness in always being open to that moment of being "the big man about it" is that you'll have it to talk about some 10 or 19 years down the road, and today is a blessed day for trying. No guarantees though, but let me always choose peace my love!

6-24-03 The softest element "Water" in time and with persistence, carved the mighty Grand Canyon out of mountains. Nothing worth while is ever gained easily and time is on the side of the one who keeps on working.

6-25-03 God, my father, my lover, my friend, let me be only the voice of hope and reason. Keep me from all that is contrary to harmonious logic of a good conversation and please father let me not judge with my feeble mind.
6-26-03 How many death does it take until we learn that war is not the answer to conflicts? Oh children of Adam, If you only knew the doom you create for your generations every time you loose sight of Peace and harmony.

6-27-03 What we believe in cannot be separated from how we live our day to day lives, this separation of church and the state is what is wrong with the picture here in our society, and the opposite, making the church all dominant over all the state's affairs is what is wrong with the fanatic Muslim or Christian worlds of now and of the past. Where is the sense of reason?

6-28-03 Bring the wine, wine-keeper and fill mine cup, I beg of you say not wait till the morrow, for tomorrow I maybe lying with the ones gone a thousand years past! Now! I beg of you friend, quench mine thirst please.

6-29-03 One of the most evident signs of having that illusive "faith" which many talk about but only a few poses, is the absence of FEAR. With God there is no fear, a certainty exits within the true believer that no matte what, He who created me will always lead me to safety and harmony within, If I only learn to get out of his way. Yes "HIS" not hers, get used to it, I am referring to "Our FATHER in heaven" not our mother earth. Although, in reality my love, it is only language which is limited to gender identifications, God is above all this! Not in the same category at all. After all how can we give that which is all pure energy a gender ID? But then how does one communicate Quantum physics to a fourth grader?

6-30-03 For all my boasting at my communication skills, I have yet to figure out how to best talk to my closest family members, my kids, my sisters and brothers, my life mates. I have turned strangers' lives around with witt and reason, good guidance when they had no hope of finding reason anywhere, yet I cannot seem to communicate a simple heartache tale of my own life with my sister who seems bent on having no contacts with the family. I do realize that when I am more whole & seasoned in God's ways, this too is possible without any effort on my intellect’s part.

7-01-03 ....And another month is passed into the abyss of time/space. Or is it? Can we have the time back once it is passed? How often can we say I'll do such and such when I have a little more free time? And if the such and such we wanted to do is a seasonal thing, like taking the time to spend TIME with the kids by the lake? What of the remorse? Dum vivimus, vivamus! While we live, let us live!

MAY 2003

5-02-03 Let this old shaman suggest again, God has created, is himself beyond our "understading", yet he is as close to us as the veins on our necks. Let no man say results and consequences are one and the same, we choose the former and fall into the latter soley based on our choices!

5-03-03 Most of us would be basically content and feel happiness with simpler things of life, If we only knew how to be at peace with who we are. Looking for happiness in wealth, prestige, importance, and outwardly "sings" of it so far has proven futile, why then do we not see the wisdom of the old and the wise whose advice has consistently been "inner peace"?

5-05-03 Resolves in any internal conflict most usually come from taking actions which promote patience and grace; actions taken under the weight of fears or fixed attachments always promote anxiety and unrest.

5-06-03 Picasso believed accidents and accidental events reveal who we really are, I tend to agree with the old nut, accidental courage to do what needed to be done is like the energy we muster up in sudden disasters though in normal situations we would not dare; Did not know we possessed.

5-7-03 In our daily contacts with other humans we tend to be more like a shop keeper trying to keep every customer happy; It can't be done. There will always be customers we cannot satisfy or make happy. Interpersonal relationships at their most valuable to our personal growth are and ought to be more than a bargain store's attempt at keeping a customer, yet acceptance of other's short comings and idiosyncrasies is a graceful compromise of the wise. NO ONE IS PERFECT! No relationship therefore is ever going to be the perfect one, lest we loose sight of our own idios!

5-8-03 Some folks nowadays refer to "old fashioned" type men like myself as dinosaurs. That is just fine by me, let everyone know that this old shaman is not interested in being politically correct, God is not my mother in heaven but my Father in heaven (wherever the hell this heaven is!), and I do not believe that we are all equals, not by a long shot. Mountains and flat lands are not equals, nor a man honest and virtuous, is equal to a charlatan. Is one educated and experienced equal to an uneducated ignorant? What is equality any way? In what ways can all be equal? Are we ever really equal?

5-9-03 All through the history it seems that the "white man" has called every other race they have come in contact with as "savages". This happened when the race came into the Americas and found the native Indians, the Blacks sure have had their share of being treated as such savages, and now it is the people of the Middle East. Sad when I see flags of patriotism in the face of the ignorant tyrants dressed in business suits, rampaging the world. All the while using "freedom &democracy" as reasons for the SAVAGE acts they unleash upon innocent people, all for a buck!!!

5-10-03 Vanity has a sneaky way of taking on the look of hygiene or grooming, but let's call a spade a spade friends, we are a vain bunch of creatures who seem to posses some measure of reason and intelligence! But when it takes so many billions of dollars and so much of our daily time to "groom" ourselves and tend to our hairdo, I say vanity is ignorance of what is truly important. We loose sight of inner beauty for the outer illusions!

5-11-03 Cherish the moments all you mothers on this your day of the year! You may never get a second chance to show how you care for THEM!!

5-12-03 Who takes out the trash? Why is it so hard for so many families (just couples or couples with kids, or roommates) to arrange a peaceful and civil way to designate tasks around the home? I am referring to things that need to get done just so life can go on in the house made of bricks and cloth! A leaky faucet will eventually lead to expense, an unsanitized home will lead to diseases, an unkept home all cluttered and messy will cause depression (the opposite of all this is of course true as well); Why then, why is it so hard to share the "chores" of keeping a home and not have a squabble about every other thing as to who did more when and how? Think about this children of Adam, for in this simple way you can achieve harmony.
5-13-03 We are a combine product of what we do every moment of every day, excellence therefore is not an act but a habit, says Aristotle. What is this excellence this great man refers to? Our daily thoughts and actions.

5-14-03 A simple act of meditation, contemplative quiet time reflecting upon the vast universe through which we have journeyed to this point, THE CAUSE OF IT ALL, and our proper place in its history, will make for a much better human of us all if we but knew the grandeur of simplicity!

5-15-03 Truely friends, Home is what we make of any sphere within which we spend our time in, with no masks on and no hat is needed. Make it so by caring for the travelers of time who share this abode with you by giving of your time and doing for the comforts made available therein.

5-16-03 In the Bible Job was perhaps God's way of saying "you could be the best of servants and still get the raw end of the deal in life, just because I want to test your devotion and faith!" Yes indeed children, it is not always clear to our pea size brains why good things happen to bad people and horrible things happen to seemingly inocent ones, FAITH then is the sum total of all the unquestionable trust we can muster as humans placed in our Father in heaven unseen by anyone, yet present in every molecule of life!

5-17-03 I am really trying to keep my usual positive and hopeful attitude towards our humanity and mankind in general, but recent events have brought the old anger back in me which is really frustration and anxiety about Politicians and the money mongers of the world about which I can take no real action of any significance. I see hunger and destitute in the masses of this U.S. of A, the richest country on earth, I see the very weak and the elderly, the homeless and the hard working class suffer while the political will of some nuts is running amuck! God help me to accept what I can change and that over which I have no control, and please God give me the wisdom to know the difference. It is nothing new, just different land, different time in the history of the ignorant man and the greed of the fools!

5-18-03 Perhaps memories are what keep the connectivity between birth and death, not time. At my age I have so much of them yet feel disconnected just the same. Sure I hear a song, see an object or picture, taste a food or sense an aroma and boom! I am back with that moment with which my brain has kept the related data, but myself, the SPIRIT, has never fully felt at home here on this planet. So I wait patiently for the end of this dream!! And all the while do my duties, fetch water and mend broken things, and write.

5-19-03 In all situations we find ourselves in life the best course of action has been proven beyond any doubt to be one of moderation and optimism. Never going too high on joyous occasions and not get too down in times of trouble. Despair is after all an extra burden and so is overconfidence.

5-20-03 The same is true then for all instances of emotional reactions, anger, envy, jealousy, hate, revengefulness, and the opposite of these as well. The fact is that one without the wisdom to find a happy middle ground and remain moderately under some sense of control will usually regret the actions taken in these occasions later. So BE COOL BABY!

5-21-03 I worked with a man who called himself a master chef. He did have all the diplomas and plaques and awards on his walls, then I came into his life and one of the very first things I said to him was "when you can make me the texture and aroma of a watermelon with a taste to match, then I will accept your master chef thing, until then there is only one master in all things for me" He never used that word in my presence again.

5-22-03 Speaking of masters; Who is your master? Verily my children I tell you that which dominates your thoughts and is the root of most all your actions is indeed you MASTER. What is it? can you identify your master?

5-23-03 One is the loneliest number, its the loneliest number you can ever be. We the people of the earth ought to realize how fragile our unity has become soon or else face total annihilation for the cause of competition.

5-24-03 Almost every time I work with a vegetable or fruit, I nearly start to cry with overwhelming awe! I am a chef and an herbalist, working with tastes and textures of foods and herbs has been a way of life with me for over 19 years, yet I, nor anyone else I know in my trade, has ever been able to make, put together, create, or even come close to God's wonder works. I have also gained knowledge of computers in the last three years, even got a degree, yet again, my love I do not see any program or peripheral carry a code like an electron does in any given molecule of God's creation!!

5-25-03 We plan the plans, dream the dreams, and hope for our wishes to come true. Now comes the rain on the parade day and time to accept what could not be, how do we deal with disappointments and plans gone sour? As we grow and mature we must learn to accept more and expect less and above all be prepared to change with the tides which are sure to come.
5-27-03 We cannot control the vessel of our destiny, but what it is filled with for the journey is our to provide. The old reap as you sow kind of thing.

5-28-03 When nearly everyone dear to you is on the opposite camp, when nothing seems to make any sense any more and insanity is dressed in "winning colors"; Tell me my child how would you find solace and balance?

5-29-03 On the pieces of papers which I carry around as "ID" today is listed as the day I was brought into this world. But I know and my aunt knows full well the date has been lost in translation from a lunar calendar to the solar calendar, and for all practical purposes I could be much younger or much older. In either case I shall never know my Zodiac sign!

5-30-03 I had a call from one of my daughters today. The call was about spending their vacation time to come down and see me. I listened to every thing she had to say; how it was such a hassle taking 2 year olds on long trips, the time not being enough and yes even the money. Underneath it all however, was the big true statement "Dad, it just is too much hassle coming to see you and I am not up to it, not for you, not this year.” Se la VI me amore! SE LA VI!! And you too will have this day with your own kids.

5-31-03 "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them." Albert Einstein (1879-1955); German-born U.S. theoretical physicist. So do consider change as a primary source of wisdom; Please!

6-01-03 It is so amazing that just thinking angry thoughts raises our blood pressure and heart beat! I have received an e-mail which speaks of "one nation under God" with a notion of delivering a message that here in the U.S. we are 84% God believing good citizens of the world! I am so torn inside with rage at the ignorance; Yet all I really want to do is logically talk to this person about my point of view which is so the opposite. Just the thought of so many ignorant people who in my opinion are the very cause of this President's wreaking havoc on the innocent folks of the world, leaves me incapable of rational discourse. Time is needed just to heal the effects of such thoughts. When David threw the stones at Goliath he was with God, are we?

APRIL 2003

4-02-03 Another month came and went. Is it just me, or does time seem to be passing a whole lot faster than it used to? I am not having any more fun than I used to! Well, here is to Spring and the start of new life!

4-03-03 Life has given this old shaman yet another chance to rejuvenate and become "whole" as a gift for having not lost faith! Gee thanks a lot for telling me I have to do more work on myself again!

4-04-03 A true friend I have not found under these skies, and family too have forsaken me whilst busy with their own lives; Now I sit an old man happy with my own things and ways, content with what life has offered me, yet the solitude and quietness of these days I am afraid are about to change!

4-05-03 We have about 25 years by the most recent accounts of our geophysicists, to start undoing some damage we have done to our planets echo system and change the way we have used its resources, else? Well, else we are doomed to a fate not unlike the dead bones we have hung on our walls and upon our mantels! The picture my friends is not pretty!

4-6-03 There is always hope for the tree to grow, as long as the roots are still under ground. A dead forest is an empty forest, not a dry one.

4-7-03 We always talk about the "good old days" of our grand parents as if it was all fun and joy, well, it was not! These days we are in now my child will become the "good old days" in comparison to what is ahead. Be part of the solution any time and any place you can, and leave no marks on the sand!

4-08-03 Is it harder to pretend niceness and practice patience or bear the bitter fruits of rash actions arising from holding on to fixed judgmental systems? We make progress only through awakenings, blink and its gone!

4-09-03 It is on every one's mind, the war, even though it is really an invasion. The uncertainty of the end is somehow scary by any measure and Wall Street is in a dive, I feel for the young here and in Iraq, disillusioned and all hopeless of what lies ahead for the next decade.

4-10-03 It does not take much for a giant to crush a cockroach of an enemy, to boast victory is indeed a spit in the wind in the wrong direction.

4-11-03 Let these pages serve as historical documentations and reminders of what this "giant" is doing in the name of freedom. Romans too thought they could force the world into their ways, look at what has become of the Roman Empire! Time will teach the bullies of the world to be kind or die!

4-13-03 The Bush administration is asking for more money to build misiles and amo, go my children and find out who will make the money? to whom are the defense contracts are being granted? You will find good buddies like Chaney, Rumsfeld and Bush at the top of the benefactors of the money being made on this so called war on terror! www.pbs.org

4-14-03 I have not lost hope for mankind, it is just painful to see outright lies and deceitfulness by those we "trust in God" top dogs and see the innocent believe in their stories. These are the testing days for the world!

4-16-03 So it turns out that there were no weapons of mass destruction, no sign of Saddam Husain, and the objectives of the Bush junior administration was never clearly outlined. Now the US says Iraq is "free" and that the military is sorry they could not save the timeless treasure at the Baghdad museum from the looters. So, what did just happen? What, did just happen?

4-17-03 Once again we learn from the events after the fact, that the only plan for any war is to go in, bomb, destroy, kill, and never mind the real reasons for the pillage! "The commander in chief" is in charge, or is he? Was there a deal made while the world was being kept busy with a war show? Did it not seem easy? Where did all the Iraqi soldiers went off to? Where is Saddam? He was after all the US's ally all through the 80’s; ???

4-18-03 Once again for insistence sake, please! Anyone reading these pages, take the time and go to http://www.pbs.org/now/ and read the transcripts for 4-18-03 (they will be available by the end of april) and become educated about who is making the money from the Iraq war.

4-19-03 On the same notes as yesterday, the articles are available and more than one is on the subject of "who is making money from war" related links and names are given as this old politics as usual goes on in DC.

4-20-03 If I seem so obsessed with this war it is one; because I had plan to go and see my family which is now impossible, and two; I see a lot good naive Americans putting up their patriotic colors as if to say it is a good thing that we just spent billions of our tax dollars to go play war over in some third world country! it is an abhor and the history will say so!

4-21-03 ...and then it was Easter, the "bunny" day not the Christ rose from the dead day, but the pagan "bunny" day and egg hunts for the innocent children so they too will continue the pagan rituals for their children. God help this country because it is a land of plenty, innocent itself and young!

4-22-03 The Teacher tells me "whenever there is a conflict between you and others close to you, look first to yourself for what is wrong and how you yourself lack in harmony within"; I turned with shame, as I knew immediately he was referring to my recent lack of harmony which has brought me unhappiness. Though I blame the war and those "others".

4-23-03 It is easy to always blame others for their shortcomings, it is indeed much more difficult to look in the mirror and admit one's own. I have been blessed today yet again, to have a thousand broken pieces of a mirror all showing me the same face; ME AT MY HOUR OF DISHARMONY within!

4-24-03 I looked high and low, I searched and cried out to the universe, I found myself all alone nonexistent in the presence of HIM who IS. Except for HIS shoulders to cry on, I have found no other comfort any where.

4-25-03 "Laughter is like the sunshine upon the dark face of humans" said Victor Hugo, find ways to bring sunshine in your life in every dark corner.

4-26-03 Excellence is a habit not an acquired taste! to always aspire for the highest possible life note, to always give the utmost without seeking recognition, the joy of just being the best human, it has to become habitual.

4-27-03 As buhdist put it, some one has to always take care of this world, fetch wood and carry water (well these days its put underground cables and maintain databases!) you get the idea, we all have to do our share of maintaining the world's affairs, dishwashers and chefs, masters and laborers, through it all, it is the awareness of our mutual humanity that makes the difference between a sleeping jerk and an awaken spirit!

4-28-03 Time and space are matters of importance only to the mortal bodies we poses. In a continually expanding universe where stars are being born and dying in heavy explosions/implosions, in black holes, super novas, and to most masters of time, the past, present and future are at once accessible. Time in other words is not a linear measure as most perceive it to be.

4-29-03 Mistakes are to age as sugar is to yeast, it takes a certain amount of it to activate the process that will bring mature goodness when the process is finished, overdoing it is disaster, not having enough will result in no mature product. Welcome the mistakes of your life as catalyst for growth my children so you may grow wise as you age.

4-30-03 HOPE is the foundation of most advances in human history. If the farmer had no hope for rain he would not sew the seeds, if the scientist had no hope of success, he would not try the new formula on himself first! We hope for results which we desire therefore we dare take chances and move mountains to build roads for future, all we have to learn now is not get so attached to the stuff we hope for, whether we get them or not.

5-01-03 Anonymous, is the title a secret agent of the US spying networks has chosen to write the book "In the eyes of our enemies” under. He has been trying to warn the US administrations for the past decade or so about not taking matters of the Middle East and specially Ussama Binladin so ignorantly. He has been side winded by his bosses for being so bold as to tell them that they do not have a clue about who these "terrorists" are and why they hate the US so much. Well, the book is out, it is hailed by many Middle East exports as a must read, because this guy has spent a life time trying to discover and "UNDERSTAND" Muslims and the culture of the people. Yet as this book is out Mr. Bush and Rumsfeld have made it "clear" to the Iraqis that the US does not want a religious regime in Iraq! Yes we want you Iraqis to be "Free" but the way we tell you to be free! most Iraqis would want a government that they feel is their own, they are a religious people and would most likely rebel against a western type democracy, (let us keep in mind that the western style democracy is still in its infancy and not a finished product itself). The US government would be wise now to recognize the folly of FORCING their wishes unto a people who are clearly saying get out!